They got refreshed in love02.09.2019

We hear more negations every day than positive and heart-warming things. That is why I open the already read book `Burnt through Life` by Mudīte Šneidere. I find myself rereading the highlighted positive and bright testimonies of love. How truthfully and expressive can Mudīte desvribe her life with late husband Harijs Liepiņš!

I wanted to share this with you, reader, to bring something bright in the coolness of fall. Enjoy the way Mudīte has described her dual relationship with Haris! Maybe you will receive some of the positive emotions as well.

For those of you who don’t know socionics, dual relationship partner is the one that is the most compatible. Not having experienced compatible relationships it could be hard to believe if Mudīte is really telling the truth. There will be people trying to deny what she writes or ay that something like that happens only in fairytales, but not in real life.

A very typical feature of a compatible relationship is not emphasising your individuality or the so called `ego`. While questioning a dual partner individually he cannot separate himself from his partner and uses the word `us` unconsciously. Spouses living in such a union cannot separate their life, habits and customs from their partner. They are both one and the same person, they are inseparable.

According to socionics, Mudīte is a Robespierre – a person with strong consciousness, not able to flirt and strongly respects public rules. All logical types cannot seem to understand where love starts and why someone has chosen exactly them. Receiving a compliment logical types usually feel shy and puzzled and don’t know how to react. Some might consider sensitivity a sign of weakness.

This is how Mudīte characterizes the beginning of her relationship:

`I couldn’t understand why did he, Haris, even choose me? ` I was visiting you. But there were also other quests. Silently and slowly they moved along the glittering field of flowers while white butterflies flew around. Once in a while someone took a bow with his flower and the path between you and the statue of Rainis became smaller and smaller. I took a step aside. Did I manage to say something about love? I am afraid I might have to use these words more than the good taste and delicacy allows. But I will add and subtract and write a bill. Maybe I will receive a bill? And I will pay orderly or someone will pay me.

I haven’t seen you for seven days already… six hours had left for you until the eternity. I will miss you. Even the three hours you were at the theatre were too long for me.

Before publishing this article I called dear Mudīte Šneidere to ask for permission. Mudīte was as cheerful as if it was spring; however, it was late and sad fall already. She managed to tell me, `Every morning I get up and am happy. Hey, what a beautiful day! Was it really so yesterday as well?`

The happiness and cheerfulness is typical for the first (childhood) quadra that Mudīte belong to. That she asked me, `Maybe I am Hugo not Haris?` I replied, `Dear Mudīte, these characteristics of your life partner Haris, Hugo have so strongly set into you that you have lived with them to this very moment.`

Dear reader, to make it more clear that Mudīte is a Robespierre, reread her opinion on adding and subtracting a few paragraphs back. Only logical types can express themselves so carefully, faint–heartedly and mathematically about feelings.

In her book Mudite quotes Franz Kafka, `No one has the right to pour their grief and desperation, hopelessness, disappointment on others.` To Mudīte these words mean her own Robespierre – like nature, since Kafka`s writings she has found her dual Hugo.

`There was no greediness in our home, we had no respect for titles and medals. Haris has never asked why others are more fortunate than he is. Haris never worried about minor problems, stood above embitterment, trouble and fights.

We were both able to admit and be happy about our colleges success, even if the college was not one of the favourites.`

Dear reader, these paragraphs contain the qualities of the first quadra, which is democratic and doesn’t divide people into parties. You may take a look at them yourself in the Latvian book “Nepārveido sevi, tikai uzzini, kas esi” (Keep away from being changed, just know what you are).

`Haris had a hard time dealing with semi–successful performances in plays; not only when he was not successful himself, but also neighbours. I tried to see all the plays myself first and then retold (showed) him everything. If I thought Haris wouldn’t explode, I demanded he has to go and see the play. Everything turned out so, that I gave him two Shapiro plays.` In this paragraph Haris is presented as an extravert, ethical type with the nature of a choleric. Mudītes continues the reflection of the value of her quadra.

It was a phenomenal event, when Haris played `Brand` in Moscow. Nevertheless, it was not acceptable in our home to boast with our triumphs.

All the 42,5 year me and Haris have spent together he has never been bilious, hostile or envious.

Never in his life has Haris jostled others, asked something just for himself or expanding influence on the stage. He has never been boastful with his success, told everyone about his triumphs, collected feedback and photos, desired awards or been proud of them. We were used to hate the awards of the soviet times and the desire for fame had not entered our home. Haris wasn’t willing to go and receive the “Three Star Medal” as well. Haris was more proud of me than he was of himself, even though he was given more than I was.

All the following paragraphs show the strength of the love revealing the fact that duals are bound for life with very strong ties. Whatever great the problems a person has to deal with are, his partner always keeps his eyes open and saves him.

`As a lion he will attack anyone who will try to do harm to his family, but himself he is fragile and it seems as if he will fall into peaces`. All our lives we were not able to live without each other, even one night separately seemed too long. Each time it was hard for me to leave, even if I knew that Haris will be waiting for me in his boat the day after tomorrow. And Haris was sad to take me away.

Haris did everything better than me. While waiting for me, he could go out in the meadow and collect meadowsweets and daisies and put them into a vase. The rooms were swept. I am welcomed with freshly cooked fish. He says, `How good that you are home, I was waiting for you!`

Our time among the days that were sad for Haris was simply happy and bright. How much laughter we had up our sleeves! One happy life! We laughed out everything that was there! About the bug that fluttered in the morning sun ray. About the toad under the corner of the house, which rolled into our hallway, fell on his back with his stomach upside and struggled. he was little and awfully beautiful. About the bats in twilight, that fell out of the hole made for them on the end wall of the house. Here the last paragraph shows the complete merging with one another in a dual relationship.

`Later I was happy that you took my thoughts as your own in conversations or very important moments in life. Me! Oh! I reflect not only your, but your son`s thoughts as well. I live with them! It is more likely that I don’t even distinguish anymore which are my thoughts and which are yours!` Dear reader, if you have a decision ahead of you, make sure your chosen one is from your quadra, so you wouldn’t have to experience the pain of a separation. Then your life will be similar to the one described previously.

An advice. If you are an ethical type, than only two logical types from your quadra are compatible to you. And vice versa. If you are a logical type than only two ethical types from your quadra are compatible to you.