Sex: who is compatible to whom in a bed24.02.2012

Does he like me?

Maybe!? Because he just took me under his arm so gently. Maybe he wants to be together with me or even something more? Or maybe he is fond of what I already told you about? I am going to wonder if we kiss each other after a movie. Or maybe I should invite him over? Still I am afraid if everything will be good for me with him? And will it be good for him with me?

How often do such thoughts run through a human mind! Not always a person who seems interested in what you say o smiles in a nice way also wants intimacy with you. But you managed to like him! And having holded good conversation over a cup of coffee, you thought that he also liked you. How to find out whether it is true or false?

It is hard to wrap your head around the multiple relationships that finished only because of the great incompatibility in bed! Or vice versa, a lot of relationships ended because at first the sex seemed great and mind get excited. After a while, when two strangers have to start a life together under one roof and the everyday life becomes a routine, it doesn’t bring anything good.

We can admit or deny it, but mainly the sexual contact is vital in a relationship. The 21st century or the overly obsessive information on TV and elsewhere has nothing to do with it. Today we are not afraid to admit that having pleasure is natural. Is there something better than having pleasure with the one you love?

There might be couples who can really impress and arouse each other in spiritual conversations, but when it comes to bed, they don’t receive even the slightest pleasure. Then there might be a situation, when two lovers even get dumbfound after spending an amazing night together. Is it even possible to explain what happens behind the door of two lovers?

Socionics has the answer to that.
There are two opposite characteristic of a sociotype sensing and intuitive that have an impact on a person`s sexuality.
Sensing sociotype is an active, determined, persistent and self-confident. Sensig sociotype also takes the initiative in sexual life. The seduction technique of a sensing sociotype is instant, determined and even pulled on. If you will throw him out through one door, he will come in through the other! In fact, he will make a new attempt even with greater persistence, changing the technique of persusasion. The seduction of a partner through caresses and eager kissing is considered to be very passionate. The aim is to take the partner here and now.

Intuitive types lack this ability. This attitude is not the result of uprising or it doesn’t indicate that sex is the last thing on the person`s interest list. Intuitive type can fall deeply in love, even feel the need for sex, but shyness and slow development of sexuality may limit the person. Of course, an intuitive is capable of seduction, but if the partner refuses, the intuitive type can be distant for a very long time. Intuitive type reaches the aim carefully, gently touching the skin and face with eyelashes, barely caressing and kissing the partner. During the sex game an intuitive type manages to create emotional and flattering vibration that might turn into love. An intuive type is capable to restrain from direct sexual contact for a long time.

Let`s recall the fact that sociotyes are divided into 4 quadras. The members of first and fourth quadra are nicknamed as `Reflective`, since they talk a lot during sex. That is why spiritual closeness is important for them. The topics of discussion vary a lot starting from problems to sharing sorrow and happiness.

The members of the second and third quadras are nicknamed as `Purposive`. They don’t waist time in reflections when implementing their wishes. During the foreplay, long talks and conversations take place very rarely. Under the impact of influential sensing function they are able to start making love without any long foreplay, since the excitement starts from thoughts. Fights and arguments are possible among them.

1. st group: Purposive sensing types

Archetype: ‘Hunters’. Sociotypes: Zhukov, Maxim, Napoleon and Dreiser.

Huntermen and Hunter-women are born with qualities that are indispensable for leadership. They are bright, strong and self–confident personalities that hardly admit compromises. They undertake everyone, so regardless of the gender stereotypes, the sexual initiative is in their hands.

The ‘Hunterman’ is a real macho, who won`t even think of asking a women if she wants to have sex and if he is the only one for her. A macho can`t even admit a possibility that his woman is engaged with someone else. Often when implementing a hunters erotic program, jealousy slaps and the improvising of a fight inevitable. They may improvise a rape and they are looking for dominance. The seduction and technical implementation of the act fail to disappoint.

Also a ‘Hunter-woman’ is longing for success, including the field that traditionally is under influence of ‘Huntermen’. In most cases they are in charge of their own work and are real business women. Their appearance is perfect. They always know what they want in life and what they expect from others. Their favourite weapons are sharp mind, sarcastic and direct irony as well as great self–confidence.
As weird as it might sound, a `Hunter` can be defeated by demonstrating opposite traits – showing weakness, helplessness, failure to resist in front of his pressure and negligence.

If you recognized yourself as a `Hunter`, your ideal is a `Deer`, a very humble partner who adores partner and is ready to fulfil wish of partner. There is no need to be particularly sincere with him, meaning that with a `Deer` you can be yourself without having to pretend. He or she sets requirements, corrects mistakes, insists and asks for something without fear. However, don’t forget to praise the deer, since you can do it better than anyone else, then the partner will always admire you.

Relationships of a `Hunter` woman with other archetypes
It is possible that somewhere out of the bedroom the humble and naive `Child` will attract your attention. However, after you spend some alone time with him, you will understand that he will never become your humble `servant`! He will be more likely to ask you to serve and hug him all the time. In fact the `Child` will be scared by your imperious attitude and directness.
If you choose for partnership a `Parent` then already at the beginning you will understand that the relationship is bound to fail. You won`t accept his overly parenting and caring attitude. It will be the opposite of what you expect and can handle, even though there can be a great and exciting affection at the beginning.
If you choose a `Hunter`, you will have to fight for the leading position, since you hardly accept the support role position in a relationship.

2 st group: Determined intuitive types

Archetype: ‘Deer’ – Sociotypes: Esenin, Hamlet, Balzac and Jack

A man `Deer` is an opposite of the imperious `Hunter`: sincere, vulnerable, sacrificial and warm-hearted. The ideal partner of a `Deer` is the self–confident, imperious and passionate `Hunter-woman’ who will choose him herself. In front of her he is obedient, respectful and ready to execute orders.
A `Deer` is capable of showing the flaws of character from time to time, but he won`t be offended by instant reprimands. Having such partner, you have but to take him by hand and lead, he won`t get confused and will immediately recognize own cherished one in you.

A she-‘Deer’ dreams of a strong imperious man, strong-willed and a safe as the Great Wall of China. At his side she will be able to be herself – sometimes vulnerable, of things from time to time, dependant on her loved one, dreamy and a bit sad. Sex is acceptable between them.
If you consider yourself a `Deer` type of woman you have to keep in mind that your ideal lover is the strict `Hunter` – the one who knows exactly how and what to do with you at any time. He won`t waste time, ask for your permission, he will instantly act. He doesn’t like to discuss topics concerning intimacy, for in his opinion actions speak louder than words. If you feel masculinity and power radiating from a man, if he squeezes your and deliberately pulls you towards him, making you understand that he won`t let you home tonight, than you can be sure you will have a good time and won`t regret it. You will have a greater pleasure pretending to refuse even though you would be ready to get into bed the exact moment. His adrenalin rises when he feels like he his imposing something and being crucial.
The relationship of a `Deer` with other partners.
A partner `Parent`, respectively `Father`

A man `Father` can seem like the real deal at first; however, regarding sex, his caring and sweet attitude won`t attract your attention for long. He would be great only as a friend.
A man `Child` definitely won`t be the one to take the initiative in foreplay and games. Also out of the bedroom he won`t attract attention with his calm attitude. In addition, your colourful seduction technique might not be enough for him.
As for a relationship with other `Deer`, it is advisable not to start a closer relationship. Mutual compromises and overly impressive gestures that you didn’t ask for will stress you out in a longer period of time. It will be difficult for you to mutually solve the long lasing problems and talk them out.

3rd group: Reflective sensing types

Archetype: ‘Parent’,, i.e. `Father` or `Mother`
Sociotypes: Hugo, Dumas, Stirlitz and Gabin

A `Parent` can feel the partners body to the most peculiar detail, gaining experience; thus, it is very interesting with him or her in bed. Their body is very sensitive. They can`t stand sudden and uncomfortable touches. Even though they take the initiative in sex, it is not similar to the initiative of a `Hunter`, since a `Parent` doesn’t dominate. Mostly they don’t have one night stands and sexual relationships are based on mutual affection and trust. Open and warm relationship is an encouragement.
`Father` is interested in a woman`s inner world. He can be trusted with all the secrets, fear and doubt, because he will not only help to solve everything, but also be happy for you. He will believe you if you will attract him for the right reasons. Even if you are with no experience in sex, don’t be afraid, he has it. He trusts your body language more then your words.
`Mother` is abundant in generosity. In her presence you will lose any fear and doubt. In her lovely apartment you will feel calm. She is also one of those who choose the man herself depending on his generosity and intelligence. A `Mother ` likes men who are confused a lot, cann’t get their life together and fully take care of themselves. She will make your as well as your things and job straight very soon. She will be your support in career, putting you on the right track and helping you to deal with domestic matters you cannot handle yourself.

If you recognized yourself as `Mother`, you should keep in mind that your perfect lover is the delicate and gentle man `Son`. He is ready to sacrifice himself in the name of love. You will receive long lasing caresses from him as much as you want. As soon as you notice a truthful, generous and full of love look, you will have the courage to approach the person. Bear in mind that you should take the initiative!

`Mother`s` relationship with other types of men

A relationship with a `Hunter` will seem completely unacceptable to you, since you don’t like imposition and violence in sex. You cann’t accept a sudden harassment and an act of violence, because it won`t lead you to intimacy, but cause the opposite reaction. In such case it is most likely that you will get up and leave.
The slowness, unconvincing look and other ambitions of a `Deer` will seem artificial to you. You are afraid of his psychological games, since you don’t understand them so well. You are most likely not to accept something like that the bedroom as well.
`Father` may create understanding, respect, warm and friendly relationship with you, but it will lack excitement. It is better to talk to him only about the weather and his progress or regress in work. It will be really easy with him to decorate the house, there will be no arguments. However, in the decorated bedroom you will only want to sleep. And, probably, being even alone. There you will have to make up such excuses as being tired, having a headache and others to avoid sex. But you don’t like to lie! It is better if you don’t complicate your life with a `Father` partner! Stay only friends! Because sex is a completely different pleasure!

4th group: Reflective intuitive types

Archetype: ‘Child’,, i.e. `Son` or `Daughter
Sociotypes:  Robespierre, Don Quixote, Dostoevsky and Huxley

Sensitive, easily hurt, frank, they love to live in their fantasies, with great imagination; however, they cannot deal with everyday life`s problems on their own and overcome routine. Only with a compatible partner, a `Child` becomes more as a grownup. They attract their partner with the weakness and positive attitude towards life. They can be submissive and kind, they try to cheer up anyone in a bad mood if they are going through a phase. They are sometimes considered to be credulous.
A man `Son` is often afraid to take the first step, due to his fear and indecisiveness. In his fantasies he has already imagined it happening for many times. However, when meeting someone they cannot get past compliments and excitement. They have to be encouraged and given hope. They have to be taken care of, shown interest, afterwards they will be more confident about themselves. For just sex he will find a more aggressive partner, who will capture him. For this particular reason a `Child` commits to an incompatible relationship more often than any other type.
A woman `Daughter` is very sensitive. She gets carried away by music, the theatre, sunset and long forgotten suddenly remembered events. A `Daughter` is eager to have conversations, share experience and receive an advice. She looks for such a partner that can understand and value her. He has to be older than her – the `Parent` who has already gained certain experience in life. She needs to be take care of and put on the right track. However, she can only accept it from a partner who acts gently, tactfully and with love. She can get carried away with her man`s interests like no one else.

If you noticed your image in a `Daughter`, than you should keep in mind that your perfect partner – lover is a `Father`, who has settled in, knows what he wants from life and peacefully moves towards his goal. He is trustworthy, gentle and able to provide everything you need to be happy about life and paint it in every colour possible and emotionally burst his stabile but rhythmical life. You will reach a closer contact with him if you create mutual trust.

A `Daugther` relationship with different types of men
With a `Deer` type of man you will have a mutual understanding regarding a lot of things; however, the mental closeness can vanish pretty fast. Then also the sex will vanish.
Just like other woman you won`t be indifferent about a `Hunter`; however, you probably won`t enter into a sexual relationship with him. He probably won`t try to understand your problems and won`t ask if the sex was good.
At the beginning a relationship with a `Son` can be interesting and promising. But remember that is only the beginning! Soon after starting a life together you will feel great discomfort. That is because two children are both craving for the same – attention and caring as well as guardianship. However, you cannot even imagine what comfort the both of you would feel with a partner `Parent`! You both have difficulties with the everyday routine and domestic duties.


I hope you understood that in life was well as sex the most compatible one is a person from your quadra – the dual or the activator. The peculiarities of our psyche mostly remind us about them in bed and they are the ones that determine the psychological compatibility with the closest person. Right now socionics is the one that explains it the best. However, no matter how genius a science can be, something yet undiscovered exists that has to be considered, since it can contradict any model of attitude. Love is possible in each and every combination. Sometimes it creates magic! Especially in sexual relationship. However, if we talk about a lifelong relationship, where sex is quite important, then we should consider if having a relationship with someone there is no future with is really necessary.




2nd quadra
Maxim, Zhukov
2nd quadra
Hamlet, Esenin
3rd quadra
Napoleone, Dreiser
3rd quadra
Balzac, Jack



1st quadra
Dumas, Hugo
1st quadra
Don Quixote, Robespierre
4th quadra
Shtirlitz, Gabin
4th quadra
Dostoevsky, Huxley

This article is made on basis of an article that was available at site “” .